Beat The Mental Health Out Of It! | Dark Humor Conversations On Mental Health, Trauma & Society
If you live with mental illness — or love someone who does — and you’re tired of sugar-coated wellness talk, this show is for you.
Beat The Mental Health Out Of It! (AKA “BTMHOOI!”) is a candid mental health podcast with dark humor and lived-experience truth. We tell it like it is, so you don’t have to.
Hosted by Nicholas Wichman (“The DEFECTIVE Schizoaffective”) and frequently joined by co-host Tony Medeiros (“IndyPocket”), we have brutally honest conversations about serious mental illness, trauma, and the real-world systems that shape mental health. Topics include schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia spectrum psychosis, psychosis, bipolar disorder, BPD, PTSD, depression, anxiety, addiction recovery, religious trauma, psychiatric medication, disability, good therapy, bad therapy, psych wards, and practical real-world coping — plus relationships, family dysfunction, work, creativity, and society.
You’ll hear:
- Lived-experience perspective from someone navigating psychosis, relapse, parenting, and recovery in real time.
- No-BS conversations about what helps, what doesn’t, and what the mental health stigma gets wrong.
- Dark humor and honest storytelling that educates and humanizes instead of sensationalizing.
- Interviews with everyday people, professionals, and notable guests, because mental health struggles don’t care who you are.
This show is for anyone trying to survive therapy, meds, trauma, and everyday chaos — or trying to understand a loved one who is. If you want language for what you’re experiencing, conversations that don’t flinch, and a judgment-free vibe with some laughs along the way, you’re in the right place.
We’re not your therapists — we’re fellow passengers on “The Struggle Bus,” sharing what we’ve learned the hard way and refusing to suffer in silence.
Beat The Mental Health Out Of It! | Dark Humor Conversations On Mental Health, Trauma & Society
Shadow Self, Darkness & Authenticity | How To Channel It Safely
In this episode, we explore how accepting your shadow self can lead to greater safety, sanity, and wholeness. By facing the parts of ourselves that we tend to hide, we can foster a more authentic existence—moving away from performative behaviors toward genuine self-acceptance.
We delve into the importance of denial as an unhealthy practice and provide practical integration tools and healthy exploration methods, minus the mysticism and clichés.
Inspired by Jung's concept of the shadow, we focus on modern approaches to self-acceptance, including healthy expression versus self-destructive behaviors, as well as the value of micro-honesty and the setting of personal boundaries.
Join us as we discuss humor that uplifts rather than humiliates, ensuring self-respect remains intact.
Share one “shadow truth” you’re willing to own this week and the safe outlet you’ll use—post it on our Discord "The Struggle Bus" so we can back you up. Try us! (link below)
Beat The Mental Health Out Of It! (AKA “BTMHOOI!”) is a candid mental health podcast rooted in lived experience: schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia spectrum psychosis, BPD, PTSD, trauma recovery, coping skills, and dark humor that helps make serious mental illness more understandable and human.
Hosted by Nicholas Wichman (“The DEFECTIVE Schizoaffective”) with frequent co-host Tony Medeiros (“IndyPocket”), we cover psych wards, psychiatric medication, disability, religious trauma, good therapy, bad therapy, and practical real-world coping — plus the societal and relationship issues that shape mental health every day. The goal isn’t just “fighting stigma.” It’s education, clarity, and honest conversation.
We interview everyone from everyday people to public figures, clinicians, and professionals, because mental health struggles don’t care who you are. If you’re willing to share your story or expertise, we aim to offer a safe, judgment-free space where you can speak openly — and still have some fun while doing it.
New episodes drop every other Monday at 6am EDT.
Want community and support? Join our Discord, “The Struggle Bus”: https://discord.gg/emFXKuWKNA
All links (TikTok, YouTube, Streaming, etc.): https://linktr.ee/BTMHOOI
Podcast cover art by Ryan Manning
...Start with a grunt. You know how we do. Always. Welcome to Beat the No, Bottom Huey. Sorry, we gotta get that going. Welcome to Bottom Hui, aka Beat the Mental Health Out of It with your host, the Defective Schizo Effective. This is Indy Pocket. And we are doing the podcast in the shadows. That's why it's so dark.
SPEAKER_03:We should have composed some music.
SPEAKER_02:We sure should.
SPEAKER_03:We'll get AI to put that in later. Yes, we will. We don't believe in that, remember? No.
SPEAKER_02:Carl. When are we actually gonna hire Carl? All right. We're never gonna make money. That's been established. Alright, well. Anyway. Good thing we like this. Good thing we're pretty happy with it. And we like each other. We're gonna do this. We do like each other still, right? Yeah, I think we're pretty big fans of each other. We're good? We're good. Alright, cool.
SPEAKER_03:Um, so we're gonna you want to shed some light on light on the shadow self. So yeah. Shadow self.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So, boy, is this a controversial topic, but it's pretty hot right now. It does seem to be. I hear a lot of people talking about it. And I appreciate that it's starting to come about. So um I've been kind of uh exploring this within myself for a while. Um and it's it's an uncomfortable one. Probably one of the most uncomfortable things you could explore within yourself. Um it's in the name. There are some tricky parts. Yeah, yeah. It's in the name, shadow self. So it's your it's your dark side that it's even different than you know what you're putting out there for people to see. It's actually the the dark side that even you don't want others to see because it is exactly too disturbing for even the parts we hide.
SPEAKER_03:I've I've heard it labeled as the parts of ourselves we don't want to reveal, but we still have to drag around in an invisible bag.
SPEAKER_02:That's a good way to put it. The other way I the way I put it is it's the parts of ourselves we don't even want to acknowledge ourselves. Yeah. We want to put it. It's like it's like that thought, that really fucked up thought that comes to your head. Like you know, you don't even want to. We're going to Mexico. Don't you show? Yeah. I mean, it gets worse than that. Um let me let me preface this whole thing. Okay. With um you do not need to put out there what the shadow self of you is. To others. To others. This is a self-awareness thing. This is an absolute self-awareness thing. And it's important to be aware of the fact that these are simply part of being human. Um it doesn't make you an evil person, it doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human. And to deny that side of yourself, that doesn't mean explore these dark things. It means to deny that you have, you know, if you want to fuck babies, you should go do no. No. No. No. But what I'm saying is that there are some really fucked up thoughts that we as few humans have. A lot of brilliant comedians express a lot of that through comedy. It's one of my favorite things about it. Um and it's usually the closer to home it gets, right? The funnier it is. The funnier or the more controversial, and those comedians, you know, often get canceled, or you know, people are bitching about it. And uh I guess controversy. Whatever. Yeah, controversy breeds uh subscribers. Breed subscribers. That's what I was trying to say that. Um I mean, our most popular videos in social media were the controversial ones. We need to come up with more of those. Alright. Apparently. Apparently we're going back to baby fucking. We're going back to baby fucking. I think that'll do it. No. Um, we're gonna make a short just out of that. Oh, we are? Just out of the baby fucking part. Oh boy. It's gonna be great. Uh it's gonna bring him in. It's gonna bring him in. Anyway, um I fucking talking a lot.
SPEAKER_03:No, this I think is just fine.
SPEAKER_02:So, I mean, this whole the whole theory of shadow self stemmed from uh Carl uh Jung, um, who was a protege of um what's his name? Ye who fucked everything up. Freud. Yes, he used Vol de Freud. Uh the F word. The F-word. The real F word. No. I mean, Freud's the one who started everything. We wouldn't be where we are without him. Father of Father of modern psychology. So, but Jung, I would argue, took what he started and absolutely brought it in the right direction. I mean, that's my perception. I love Carl Jung. I haven't really explored a lot of what he was um what he was changing in the in the field or what he was, you know, um really pondering until the last five months. Um and I understand he his one of his books was released not too long ago. I heard about it on Yeah, he he had a book that he said not to publish until a certain date.
SPEAKER_03:Really?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I don't know the book. I don't know the name. They were talking about it on Rogan. This was a while back. This is maybe even well, it'd be since Max was born because I didn't really see it. I had to do some some study on that one. Yeah, and apparently the book is so fucking wordy and out there, it's really hard to understand because Rogan was saying he was trying to read it, and he's like, What the fuck am I reading? He said he had to get on some uh mushrooms and even start to understand it, which that's just that's just fine. You know, he's big into that. But um, anyway, uh Young was definitely ahead of his time, and I think a lot of his ideas and theories and principles stand pretty strong today. But speaking of the shadow self, I think that one's a particularly particularly neat concept.
SPEAKER_03:Well, if we are talking about the whole person, right, integrating shadow self is how we bring those parts together to make ourselves whole. Right. It doesn't mean that we have to like every piece of ourself, right? But we do have to learn how to integrate and accept certain aspects of self that may not be comfortable, that you may not want to telegraph and project out there to others, but understanding what some of those darknesses may be or mean or represent can help you understand how you work in interpersonal relationships, how you work in romantic relationships, how you treat yourself when you look in the mirror.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Um integrating shadow self into who you are and understand and being understanding, being able to offer that grace to self. Yeah, that is exactly what it is. Is how you genuinely can bring the pieces of yourself back together. Yeah. And once whole, then you can look at the whole exactly and really truly figure out what kind of person you are.
SPEAKER_02:At least that seems to be the theory that's what I've understood behind what does it come down to is acceptance. And what's the hardest thing for any of us to accept in or to do in any situation is accept Yep, worst critic. Worst critic is the guy in the mirror. Right. So whether that's accept yourself or that's accept your situation, accept you know, consequences, whatever that is, acceptance is the hardest thing. And I'd argue that might be why the shadow self is such a fucked up concept for most people. It's like, what is harder to accept than your own demons? Um and so here's the thing. I've uh like I said, I I've actually delved into my own shadow self quite a bit. And I'd argue it's not as hard for me because of this.
SPEAKER_03:And I I was thinking about that earlier when when I was kind of doing some pre-gaming, was if you were facing demons, essentially kind of literally, and it's annoying on a daily basis, how easy is it to shake hands with something so familiar when possibly some of the neurotypicals that might be listening would be like, what? How would you even?
SPEAKER_02:I could never, I that's the thing, is that honestly the the the difficult part is discerning what's the fucking voices and what's my shadow self. I gotta tell you, that's where it's at. It's like that's really fucked up what they're saying. I mean, can I can I top that? Is my shadow self topping that? I don't think so. But it's like, does my shadow self influence them? You know, I I haven't done research on that. I don't know if there is, probably. There's research on everything.
SPEAKER_03:There's bound to be something out there. But if there's not, well, hey, somebody contact us, we get guinea pig.
SPEAKER_02:But I do wonder, I mean, if you go by the whole thing of I know there's research out there showing that schizophrenia represents manifests differently in different areas of the world. It's not like in dip in America, there's almost a whole thing of in the United States is almost schizophrenic schizophrenia is almost a different diagnosis here than it is elsewhere.
SPEAKER_03:Well, and I I mean I understood that you're probably not gonna be in the Middle East claiming to be Jesus. Well, it's it's not well, fair enough.
SPEAKER_02:Especially a white guy. Well if a white guy visits the Middle East and I'm Jesus. Or if I if what but what if a Middle Eastern guy comes here and says he's Jesus? That ain't gonna work either. But that might actually be more accurate, basically. It wouldn't be. But we wouldn't buy it.
SPEAKER_04:No, no, we're like that ain't the guy seen on the wall. He's not white with blue eyes and washboard abs. Right.
SPEAKER_02:Jesus is so you know, um, but it is interesting that it does manifest differently in almost everywhere else in the world. Yeah. Um, so why is that? So I guess the reason I brought that up is how can shadow self actually play a part in that when we all have the shadow self side. So I'm saying that I don't think the shadow self influences the symptoms.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I would assume life stimuli would be what qu kind of programs your specific demon.
SPEAKER_02:Right. And that's the thing is they're kind of doing research that is showing, and I'm not done extensive on this, so I'm gonna do more because I'm really curious about this. I just kind of ran across it.
SPEAKER_03:And P.S. We never pretend to be smart about this. We're just talking. We're just talking.
SPEAKER_01:Not our assholes. We're just we're just talking. We check inside assholes. Guff, come on the show again.
SPEAKER_03:There you go. Man, there's some there's some shadow self we should we should definitely invite on. Our assholes? No.
SPEAKER_04:We should do the Jim Carrey thing, like when he might if I ask you a question about my Can I ask you a question? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Um Do you have any butt knocking? No, get Guff on here. I think he'd be a good one. Oh, on this subject. Oh my god. Oh Lord, we got we got tons more episodes with that motherfucker. The follow-up on that would be extensive.
SPEAKER_02:That's for sure. That we might not be able to air that one. The shadow self may actually come out. Yeah, maybe it's just a therapy session. We don't actually air it. No, we have to. You know we don't. We don't we don't cut, we don't not release. I don't know. But um, yeah, so I'm thinking like if it if it's not that that is contributing to the whatever the symptoms are the way it manifests, it can't be the shadow self side of things. I wouldn't think. That's logically thinking.
SPEAKER_06:Hmm.
SPEAKER_02:Because if we're all human and we all have that shadow self, which I mean, I'm sure certain people's shadow self is darker than others. I can't imagine my wife, who's a very pure individual, has the same level of depravity that my shadow self has. However, even in talking to her on the very limited level I have about this, because it's not like I'm telling her, like, you know what my shadow self said today. You know what it wants me to do to you right now? No. Um, but sorry. But like, seriously, it's like she, you know, she can even acknowledge it. Yeah, there's there's always thoughts that come up that like you just you don't even want to acknowledge. It's like, get that shit out of there. I'm not capable of that. The impulse control on it? Not that. I'm not capable of getting those the thoughts out of there. I'm constantly barraged with it. It it's I'm that's my existence is being barraged with what everyone else experiences a shadow self and they can push away. I can.
SPEAKER_03:So, okay, alright, alright. So you're saying you have some discernment in this is just a symptom, this is a shadow self thought. Yeah. Okay. So are you latching hold of your shadow thoughts to then try to work through those? Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. How does that work with other players, I guess I'll call them? Working on that same like do they then start picking apart what you're trying to do getting clarity?
SPEAKER_02:Well, clarity is always challenging, period, with me, you know, on anything. However, with this, it's easy to embrace it. It's easy to embrace the shadow thoughts. It's not hard for me to embrace the shadow thoughts.
unknown:Why?
SPEAKER_02:Because I'm constantly bombarded with that level of depravity, whether it's my shadow self or not. Those are not shocking concepts to me.
unknown:Wow.
SPEAKER_02:You see what I'm saying? So it's like, okay, you said that, and yeah, that's a shadow thought, shadow self thing too.
SPEAKER_06:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:It is not hard for me to accept that side. I think that's why this has been a fun experience for me. I don't, and like I tell everybody, you know, I love going to therapy. I I I look forward to my therapy sessions. I look forward to digging deep and finding out how fucked up I am. It's a good time.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_02:The growth that comes from it, though, is a pleasurable journey. And I've talked to, yeah, and I've talked to many people, like my wife, who's currently going to therapy, my mom has done it many times, and you've got people who just don't even do it at all. Some of that I think comes down to the stigma of therapy itself. Right. Some of it comes down to the fear of acknowledging it, of acknowledging those demons inside of you, or the struggles or the trauma. But that's what's different is like my wife goes to therapy and benefits from it. But every time that therapy session comes around, it's like, oh my, she's so nervous and anxious and all that stuff. By the time mine's around, I'm like, ah, when's it coming? When's it coming? Gotta get I'm not kidding.
SPEAKER_03:It's that we can do I could just see you standing at the door wiggling your butt like Gotti. Just so excited about it.
SPEAKER_02:That's not a good image. I'm sorry. That's a shadow self image. Shadow self-image.
SPEAKER_03:Picture of my ass leaving in the mounted. Never mind. Um, so see, there it is. It's coming out. Yep, there it is. Um, yeah, B Cali, sure, that's a fun one. That's a good shadow self. Yeah, right. Um, no, so I'm when I was thinking about this earlier. I mean, do you have more that you want to cover with that? Okay. So when I was thinking about this earlier, how do we talk about something we're not supposed to reveal? Right? This is supposed to be a personal journey. And it should be. And I really I was thinking long and hard about what we could use. There will be a pun here coming. Oh, good. I'm like, okay. I was hoping there would be. So the thing that I think most of us, regardless of gender, age, whatever, struggle with is gonna be our sexuality. Not necessarily what we're attracted to gender-wise, not not even that.
SPEAKER_02:I think I know where you're going with this, but I mean, okay, so You say the act itself?
SPEAKER_03:Not even well, yes. Because that's a big on a on a certain level, yes, just the act itself. But then um certain things get labeled as fetishes. Yeah. Tab you know, entire like communities uh, you know, uh BDSM and um like there's people who pretend to be, or they don't pretend, they take on the persona of a pet. Um a lot of these things and and I figured that was something that we could probably talk about in a very generalized way because there are a lot of people that can relate to this specific thing. Now, before we go too much further into that, I wanna I would like to put out an invitation to any and all who are interested in anything we say, but especially this particular topic, you know, we're at the what almost 20 years mark. Good job, you're doing it, just like you guys said. Yeah. So I think I would be to make an invitation for those of you listening that want to be a part of the conversation, and maybe is there a way to make special folders for each topic we do?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah, I can. Okay. I've got a pretty generic right now, but I can I can definitely sub folder. Come join the struggle bus. Come. That would be come and join it. It is a long Come on the struggle bus. It's a long and hard road.
SPEAKER_03:We clean it between trees. We never clean it. Okay, we never clean it. But I would love to invite more and more of you to come on there and really have these robust conversations with us. You don't have to reveal anything about yourself necessarily, but talking about, you know, things you've heard on here that relate to something in your life, obviously, it doesn't have to be a specific kind of thing, but getting those conversations started, I think, is the way we can really start to build this community. Yep. Because we do want to have a community that is supportive. Yes. To have a support structure, we have to have conversation.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, that's the foundation of it. So and that's the thing is you know, this podcast has tons of listeners at this point. So tons of them. We have 11 members on the struggle bus.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, there's plenty of room. And lots of seats.
SPEAKER_02:And I was kind of I was kind of talking about a few members of the struggle bus who are pretty active on it. Um Alexis, who is on an episode, is on there.
SPEAKER_06:Yep.
SPEAKER_02:Guffy, who is on a future episode, is on there. We're on it. Um, my wife is on it. You know, that's pretty much half of the struggle bus right there. And then we have some people who have joined from TikTok and and uh seen the podcast. Um but eleven people. Now here's the thing we've had some really great conversations on there so far. Yeah people are comfortable exposing certain things that they want to discuss in a supportive community.
SPEAKER_03:And and there is a level of anonymity dependent upon what your name is. If you're not true. Yeah, I mean uh Bob Dot Smith at Sut I mean, that may not be.
SPEAKER_02:Um Neil Pearrett twenty one twelve.
SPEAKER_03:Neil was What if Neil Pearrett joins? The spirit of Neil. Well, there are gonna be some big words I'm gonna have to look up.
SPEAKER_02:Every word. Anyway, um so but the thing with it is you know, 11 people on there is fantastic, but building that foundation of more and more is the goal. That's the goal of all of this. We are merely the spearheads starting the difficult conversations, right?
SPEAKER_03:Um and and the more that we have on, the more it becomes a 24-hour.
SPEAKER_02:We want it to be a self-sustaining thing.
SPEAKER_03:Right. That's the idea. This this isn't about money for us at this point, at least. We've already found out it wasn't.
SPEAKER_02:It is all self-funded, self-project. We don't have anybody but us doing this.
SPEAKER_03:So But the real dream is to have that community. Yes, it's fun doing the podcasts, and yes, we cut up and have a great time. But the real meaning is the end goal here. But the real meaning behind us getting together and putting all of this work into this is for there to be not just an awareness of mental health and the you know the support that can be out there, whether it is in the medical community or if it is just support structure or whatever. Whatever makes you. And you know, like you brought up Alexis, it what she had to say may not resonate with everyone, but it's gonna resonate with somebody. It it may be the thing that really, really helps someone come to terms with what they're dealing with. Right, as it did her. You know, and and that's the idea is that if we have enough people coming to each other's aid, there'll always be somebody that understands. There'll always be somebody who's willing to engage, who's willing to support, who's willing to be a part of the conversation. Right. And maybe that conversation is just about the shadow self. But at some point it could be somebody struggling with some really bad ideas and needing someone to just acknowledge their existence so they don't do something outlandish with it.
SPEAKER_02:Aim for the bushes, as we've been. Yeah, says the great metaphor now. Yeah. Um I love it. One thing you mentioned is the awareness side of it. So obviously, there's a lot of people who are aware, not only who listen to this podcast, but it it's out in the zeitgeist now. The mental health thing is is definitely prevalent. However, the conversation is what's missing. And there's a great the common man conversation. There it is. Yeah, the common man, the everyday person struggling with it is what's missing. Dan Cook has a brilliant um thing back from Dan Cook was brilliant?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah, he was. Oh, okay. Suck my back. Suck my back!
SPEAKER_00:Suck my back.
SPEAKER_03:Burger King. Anyway, yep.
SPEAKER_00:Pickles? This is a pickles!
SPEAKER_02:Um Okay. See. But no, what I was gonna say is he has this great bit that he did of the comic relief uh thing in 2006. It's his Oprah bit. Have you heard that one? I don't know that one. You get a school. You get a school. Oh. You get a humpback whale, you get a rubber. And I get all of Hawaii.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, never mind. But that's no, you ruined it now. Oh, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02:No, but in that skit, he wrote Dwayne Johnson was part of that too. That's right. Yeah, don't forget him. Did he probably too? Oh shit. I'm sure he did. It's all gonna unravel. But what I was gonna say is he it the brilliant thing about this little skit, and uh, I mean, I have a tendency if I'm on a mind, like if I'm on a mind track, then I'll glean things from from sources that pro I'll glean things from some things that probably aren't actually there. However, there's this bit where he says, you know, you know, you got Marguai playing in the puddle. And you're like, huh. And he talks about how, you know, you're watching the TV and the commercial comes on. And right when it comes on, you're like, I gotta get the fuck out of here right now, you know, or the puppies come on. And it's like, you gotta get the fuck out. And then, of course, something comes on, you're like, I'll watch the commercial, I'll be aware. If I'm aware, that's enough. I'm aware. But you won't donate, you know, or you won't join in the conversation. Um, there that's what I'm getting at here is there's something, there's a good thing to be aware. And while you may not be able to contribute monetarily or on any level of, you know, you know, great change, the fact of you just contributing to a small community of again helping on that human level. Nothing more than that is just money. Any of us, yeah. There's no money, nothing more than that's being asked from any of us because one one great gosh, I'm getting here we go. Bernie Sanders made a great point about you know, the everyday person is the everyday person is what can change regimes or things like that. Not getting political, but the idea that the everyday person is who has the power. And that comes that relates to even this. I mean, it's not that big of a scale kind of thing, but we all struggle with mental health. I don't care if you're mentally ill, I don't care who you are.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, at one time around. At one time in in everyone's life, there are going to be things that will challenge your mental health.
SPEAKER_02:You can't help it. Again, being human. So that's all I'm saying is it it is great to be aware. It's so much better to participate on whatever level you're capable of. And if it's just to join the struggle bus, it's not too much to ask, right?
SPEAKER_03:And where can they find the link?
SPEAKER_02:Uh well, unfortunately, I can't embed the link in the bios.
SPEAKER_03:Oh no.
SPEAKER_02:I can't embed it where it's clickable. So I can't do it. I've I've even researched it, it will not let me embed it. So unfortunately, I can't make it so easy that you can just click on the damn thing, which I know is gonna put 90% of you off because we can't click a fucking button. If we get a website though, the website, yes, which we're working on uh developing, you'll definitely be able to just click on it there. In fact, we can probably Yeah, I mean, at least the link will be there. Just a big garage door that they could just click on, it opens up and then there you go. And everything, every bottom hooey thing, our drumming content, our rants, you know, whatever it is, our skits, everything's gonna be in one place. Oh boy. Um, so good luck world. Um but um unfortunately I can't embed the link where you can click on it. Okay. So the thing, same thing still stands. If you um want the link to it, you'll have to DM me on Insta, um, TikTok, Facebook, any of my socials, DM me and I can send it to you. Or who? The Defective Schizo Effective. Nice. Uh I got it right this time. Last night it wasn't so successful. The Protective Sediction. No, I said the Dark Lord of the Skiz again. Whoops. That's he's dead. Um But what I was gonna say is you can DM me for the link, or definitely can email me. Haven't got any fucking emails from you guys. Beat the mental health out of it at Gmail. I know it's postage is going up. Postage, yeah. Costs money to send emails. Anyway, back to this show. Yeah. I know that was a bit, but we're really trying to illustrate the email.
SPEAKER_03:Getting that getting that conversation going. Um, and like I said, uh something that's gonna be maybe a little more standard, it's still gonna be too taboo for certain people's ears, but for other people, you know, there there are whole communities built around some of these shadow ideas of self. Um and, you know, while it it it is in that sexual realm, there are certain aspects of those communities that aren't necessarily sexual. There are um you know, I mean, people some people struggle with direct intimacy. Um some people struggle to contact people and talk just direct. So there are indirect ways of you know getting that started through this shadow Oh yeah or fetish, whatever you want to call it.
SPEAKER_02:So And I don't mind using the sexual communities and the sexual thing as a decent uh not analogy, but but it but it's a generalized topic that everybody most of us are going to have some struggle in that area as I'm boring, yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_03:In some way. So um I I think it's it can demonstrate that it can be a healthy thing. Um one of the big things about even the just the generalized VDSM community is consent. You have to have consent. And to go into something like this, obviously you have to feel safe. Yeah. So vulnerable. That same kind of thing needs to go into, and this is sort of why I was bringing that up, that sort of safe needs to go into when you look into yourself as well. Because that the big the big concept, I mean, everybody talks about, oh, I'm doing shadow work, I'm doing shadow work, I'm doing but a lot of people are going, well, what the hell is shadow work? What are you talking about? Is that just like you're working in evil arts or you're an alchemist now? Dr. Evil. Dr. Eve. Um No, but the idea being is you're going to look at the part of yourself that you do not want to even acknowledge. That you've been denying your whole fucking life. Much less look at. So, kind of the first thing you have to inform yourself when you start this journey, right? And and obviously you're gonna pick some low-hanging fruit like what I I brought up now, you know, some of the the darkness. It's good to start with. It's good when it's yeah. But go at it with the idea that while it may not be something that I accept about myself currently, nor something that I want to even integrate into my outward persona, being able to accept and bring it inward and understand that yes, I do have this interest or um thing that when I hear it, it it lights a certain part of me up. But that certain part of me has been made to feel uncomfortable because of what society expects, family expects, moral situation and religion, right? All of those things. Just being human, too. So and this is the beautiful thing, um, it's good that you even brought up religion. Uh oh. Religion itself. No, no. No, religion itself teaches grace. Yeah, sure. Right. By default, that's a foundation. Anyone who would say, no, what I'm no, what I'm feeling, I can't do. My religion tells me I can't do that. Yeah, while your religion might tell you you shouldn't do that, your religion also tells you show yourself some grace.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Forgive yourself.
SPEAKER_03:So I I don't want people getting hung up on that particular thing, especially, because I know that a lot of people can use religion in very unhealthy ways. Sure. But that's a way you And one of the unhealthiest is I think to push down those parts of yourself that you are told in some dogmatic doctrine that you should be ashamed of. Yep. Instead, it would be much healthy.
SPEAKER_02:It's very selective what that can be.
SPEAKER_03:It is it is much healthier. I like how you just stood for saying, you know, hey man, I am trying my best to tiptoe through the minefield here. Um because shadow work, I mean, shadow self is a really scary thing, especially if you don't approach it initially, learning everything I encounter, I have to offer myself grace. The only way you are even going to be able to look at something long enough to pick it apart and figure out if it's something you can integrate or if it's something you can just accept about yourself and then throw back in the back as far as you can get it, but still not in the shadows. Right. Still part of yourself, is to offer grace, is to say, this I have to accept these things about myself. Trying to deny it is making me less whole. Because that is the whole no, that's the whole point. The whole point of is to become a whole person. Right. Is to integrate all parts of self being aware. Doesn't mean that you go, hey, now I'm totally fine with that horrible thought that I have. I think I'll just go out and share that with everyone.
SPEAKER_02:And you don't want to explore it either.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I mean You know what I mean? It's not like, oh, I have this really and I know it's fucked up. Let me go try that. Okay, so it's not about that either.
SPEAKER_03:No, it's not necessarily about that. But going back to the sexual thing. The sexual thing, right? Okay, some couples will add a third. Yeah. Right? And one or both. You know, there's there's two different ways you can do that. Oh, that's fair. Yeah. So um What's the other one called? Cuckled. Oh. Right? Where you bring the male? Yeah. Yeah. Unicorn is a female. Um, what do they call it? Bull, I think. I don't know. I'm sorry. We'll get into that education another time. Let's just do a sex education episode. We may have to.
SPEAKER_02:Sex education with Mr. Clean.
SPEAKER_03:But you're you're saying, you know, don't just go right out and do that. No. No. Explore it. Definitely bring it into yourself. Find your comfort level with it. If it is something that you have negated from yourself simply because society says you shouldn't do it, but then you get to an age where you feel confident enough as a person to say, you know what? I I I can keep my mask on, but sometimes I want to take my mask off and step into this realm that that feels exciting. Yeah. Right? And so you do have to, of course, you offer yourself grace, you pull that piece into yourself, you are then gonna have to present it to your partner. True. Yeah. Who then the two of you have to do that work because that may bring up shame in them too. So there's a there's there's a lot of shame going around that we we gotta work through. Absolutely. But it doesn't necessarily mean that you don't eventually find ways to integrate that into the person that you accept about yourself. Right. Because yes, we all have our personas that are out in public. Oh yeah, yeah. But we all come home. I mean, I won't say we all. A lot of us come home, we take off the dress clothes, and we sh you know get into our eating britches and some comfy t-shirts, and no, we get comfortable because we're home, right?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Same should apply to the parts of self.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I agree.
SPEAKER_03:You should be able to put on the comfortable parts of yourself and wear that probably.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and like as far as getting back to the sexual thing, because I do think it's a great analogy for it, or just a great um It's a it's a good gateway to that conversation because a lot of us have desires that would be considered taboo by the general public, and there is a select amount of people who are willing to accept that side of themselves and then admit that, hey, this isn't hurting anybody if there's consent. And then there is joy to be had in some of those things that 90% of people, again, just shove past, or just they're so caught up in the societal taboo of it that it's like, no, like fuck that. No, I don't want to do it, like pun intended. Um fuck that. Um but that I'd fuck that. I'd tapp that. But that's the thing, is that what?
SPEAKER_03:It just reminded me of that person.
SPEAKER_01:I'd tapped that.
SPEAKER_03:Oh yeah, yeah. That's he ha he had a a friend uh no, don't say friend. That's gonna white's gonna be like, what friend? Okay, we worked at a place together and talked about it a million times. The people have we really on the We've not named it, but we said what what it went.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I know we have. On the show. We have? We've said what it won't we. I don't remember. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03:Well people know where you work and that we work together. Yep. Okay. So a a patient grabbed his junk and just said there was a uh female patient that was an aggressive old broad.
SPEAKER_02:A female. Um I mean, I didn't, I wasn't offended by it. That was hilarious. No, she was in touch with her shadows. She sure was. I'm in the shadows. One thing bring it to mama. Well, one thing that we talked about, which I do want to get into, which is not a bad segue, is that mental illness, you know I'm going with this, may kind of take away the inhibitions of exploring that.
SPEAKER_03:I think for sure that it may amplify certain parts of it.
SPEAKER_02:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Um, given different diagnoses, I do think that there are certain um aspects of shadow self that are then almost pushed to the front.
SPEAKER_02:No, that's exactly what I'm saying. Yeah. And I'd argue, like, like I just said, it's not a challenge for me to explore this side of myself strictly because of this. Strictly because of it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I mean I mean you you bring up a good point. Okay, so you know, one of the biggest um uh what am I what am I trying to say? Um like goals that that we'll work on with people is impulse control. Um and I don't know if you were there when this gentleman had come through. Frequent flyer. I know we've seen him multiple times. Almost as many, well, as many fingers as I have on one hand. Um I have a thumb too, just so we're specific about how four times. Thanks for clarifying that, Professor. You're welcome. For our listeners who don't know. No, but this this particular person, I mean, I would argue uh shadow self front and center, because he would very often, especially with certain female status, I was around for this person. I remember this would walk around completely naked with nothing but a blanket on, just reaching it right out in front of everybody. Um, yeah. Bracing, but that's the thing, is with mental illness, illness, sometimes those impulse that impulse control is just yeah, non-existent.
SPEAKER_02:And it's not the person can't help it.
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_02:And you have to help them know how to learn that. It's just like us, even myself, since I'm pretty high functioning as a what I've got, um, you have to learn how to restrain that within yourself or explore it safely, or however you want to look at it. Um unfortunately, somebody who who is of that level of crippling mental illness where they don't have those mental faculties to know the difference between what's acceptable to explore and what's like, okay, you know. They just they don't have it. Not their fault. They don't know any better, but that's what like mental health facilities and things try to help them with that. Medication can stabilize them enough to where finally their their mind calms down enough to where you can finally reach that side of them. Or it just completely cripples their drive.
SPEAKER_03:That too. To do that too. Yeah, which seems a horrible fate, but I mean I guess if it's something that's That's a rabbit hole. Well, if it's crippling you and you can't even function in society, that's the thing. It might be something you actually would wish away. So fair enough, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, dependent upon how aware you are. That's the other thing. I mean, if you're not aware enough to even you know what I mean? Yeah. That's that's a good point to bring up. I don't know if it's really worth exploring on this one, but that's a good point to bring up. Um but yeah, and I definitely mean you and I, when we worked there, saw a lot of individuals with crippling mental illness who don't have the ability to restrain that until they're taught, or um, you give them the therapy or give them the coping skills, or however you want to look at it. Often it takes a it takes a village of or a idiots, village of idiots to help these poor people. Um but it takes a it takes a whether it's a bunch of individuals helping this person combined with the medicine and the therapy and struggle bus. Um struggle bus, yes. Um that's the idea. I mean, essentially that's kind of a struggle bus that's not an institution.
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_02:It's voluntary and there are certainly people who need more than the struggle bus.
SPEAKER_03:Of course.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, need I have needed more than that before.
SPEAKER_03:And honestly, I I think I I mean, I know that we haven't really gone deep into design. We're what, two and a half months into this journey? So not incredibly far. But I would like to see the struggle bus even be connected to resources. Oh, I'm planning on doing that. Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Actually, somebody recommended doing a resource channel and just like links to a bunch of different things outstanding. That wouldn't be hard to do.
SPEAKER_03:Because we want those we want the conversations to take place, but we also want those folks who do come in and hop on the bus.
SPEAKER_02:It's not a bad place to start.
SPEAKER_03:Know that it's at least a good, safe place to start and get real information.
SPEAKER_02:Not only experience from others, but like here's even scholarly not scholarly, yeah, professional resources.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, re Yeah, a resource. Someone that, okay, if if we're having this conversation and you find it helpful, that's great. If we're having this conversation and you feel like you need more, or just you definitely want to have Yeah, more or if you need somebody who d you know, you're just reading about it. You don't need somebody No, we want bus stops.
SPEAKER_02:Hey, damn it many. Here's the resource bus stop.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_02:And you hop back on whenever you Right. Yeah. Damn it, man. You're that was only no tokens. The struggle bus and the bus stops. Damn. Yeah. I should name that the bus stop channel.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_02:God damn. This guy. The brilliance in this guy. The brilliance we're doing here. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So it sounded like you you said you didn't know, I don't remember what it was. You said something about you didn't know if it was worth exploring.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, it was kind of that whole thing of is it worth numbing side of things, do not experience other things? You know, that's a recommended app, but I didn't want to go down that.
SPEAKER_03:No, I okay. I just wanted to make sure we didn't have to do that.
SPEAKER_02:No, that's what I didn't want to get to go down.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Um we we tend to meander.
SPEAKER_02:That's what I'm trying to be careful of. We've done good so far. Um Yeah. Good for us. Good for us. Pat on the back. Pat on the back for us.
SPEAKER_03:Suck my back.
SPEAKER_02:Um. So I did have a direction I did want to take this, too. Is you have an erection? Always. Oh, okay. I just think about my wife for five seconds.
SPEAKER_03:Baby holding an apple.
SPEAKER_02:Fingering my belly button.
unknown:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't even bring it up this time. Shadow cell. There you go. We should have gone there instead of the fish.
SPEAKER_02:Instead of the fetish. Get my belly button fingered. It does feel weird. I believe you. It's not a it's not a pleasant feeling.
SPEAKER_03:No?
SPEAKER_02:No. But he loves it. He? Max.
unknown:I know.
SPEAKER_02:My son being a turd gets such a weird. He gets so much fun out of fingering my deep ass belly bag.
SPEAKER_03:Do you think it's like a Pillsbury doughboy kind of fetish?
SPEAKER_02:I honestly, I don't think it's a fetish. Let's not use that fucking word. He's 11 months old for Christ's sake. Um I think it is. I mean, it's it's a big area, and it's like, oh, there's a weird hole in the middle of it. You know? Babies are exploring. He's plugging.
SPEAKER_03:It's like the dike. Never mind. Moving on. No, I I knew where you were going to go in. Okay. So, what was the erection you wanted to go in?
SPEAKER_02:The erection I wanted to go in, which I'm going to point it this way. Yeah, please do. Thing keeps hitting me in the face. Ah, big dick bat. Um, so I was on the podcast. I was gonna explore. Um, when does the shadow self come out where we're all okay with reveling in it? Ooh!
SPEAKER_03:Are you looking for examples? You mean?
SPEAKER_02:I mean, I've got 'em, but you know, if you know, go run with it. Since you're inspired, go for it. Where's where are you going? Sporting events. Oh, that's not where I was going, but go ahead. Share your thing, because I gotta back off.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, honestly, where else are you gonna show up and act like a complete fucking lunatic and yell at people and you suck, ref, go fuck yourself. Go I mean, like shouting these. I mean, can you imagine being in the mall and yelling at some Cinnabon hostess like, you fucking bitch, this this fuck you with this icing! Fuck you!
SPEAKER_02:Go kill yours. I mean, you know, I mean Oh, that ha you hear it at ball games and shit.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but go fuck your mother! But you hear all sorts of crazy stuff. But it's totally okay.
SPEAKER_02:Well, yeah. I mean I mean, okay You don't get freaking ousted from the game until you start throwing punches. Right. Um but yeah, you're allowed to shout some obnoxious shit. Yeah. One of my favorite South Park bits is the Bat Dad. Bat Dad. I am the Bat Dad. It's like Randy is he wants to be the ultimate drunk dad at all the baseball games. Uh. So he goes and he's like, This is America, I thought this is America. You know, he gets taken out of all the games because he starts fights, and then you get the bat dad. He's the ultimate drunk dad.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:And they try to outdo each other in being the most obnoxious dad in the stands. Okay. And the bat dad beats the shit out of Randy until the end, when um the ba his son's baseball team, stands, baseball teams cheering him on, kick his ass, dad. And finally Randy's like, hey bat dad. I didn't hear no bell, and then, you know, it's funny. That's the whole like thing of this America, though this is America, and they keep arresting him. Anyway, that's a good example of that, I guess. I don't know, I just want to share that.
SPEAKER_03:It's funny. I just kept hearing the Team America song.
SPEAKER_04:America! Fuck yeah! Lick my ass and suck on my balls, America!
SPEAKER_02:So great. Yep. Boy, they're on to a lot of stuff that Trey uh Parker and Matt Stone. Mostly Trey Parker. They would be an interesting.
SPEAKER_03:Wouldn't they? They would. Put them on the list. Okay. Oh, it's uh it's an ever. Continue. You have some examples, Professor.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, okay. So, like, I was thinking, Professor Nick. Um so I was thinking, like, okay, when are we all okay experiencing these or reveling in them or even allowing ourselves to succumb to the ideas? Even as a collective, so you might know where I'm going with this. We're all in the theater watching Saw together. Okay. Okay, so I would say the creators of Saw, um, what are they tapping into there? I mean what I don't know. No, the concepts on screen. Like, I don't think those are I would say those are shadow self kind of things. Oh. The mutilation and the torture and all that shit. Those are not things that what?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I mean, if you've you know, you've had a breakup or two, you've probably thought some pretty dark thoughts about fucking that's that's my point.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:That's exactly my point, is that okay, but these are putting it on the screen.
SPEAKER_03:Fuck you, Nick, for bringing that up.
SPEAKER_02:But those are they're all on the screen. Yeah. And we're all sitting in the theater jacking our dicks or fingering ourselves. It's safe to look at it. It's safe to look at it as a collective. And how many people go out? I've seen fucking not even teenagers love the Saul movies. And I'm like, they should not be watching that. But that's kind of a thing. Um, and I was watching stuff early, but it wasn't my parents letting me, it was friends, or I would sneak and watch it. Right. Again, exploring that sort of thing before you even understand what it is. And at that age, the you know, the teenage years, that's when you are exploring things, and you hide all that shit from your parents, but you explore with your like-minded friends, or like you know, things like that. That is the honestly kind of the safe period. One time at bandcamp? That one time at bandcamp, right? And then yeah, and that was a good time at bandcamp. I remember bandcamp.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:But what you know I'm saying is like, but we all feel safe somehow is packed movie theater watching this unbelievably disturbing shit, but getting enjoyment out of it. It's like a vicarious. Yeah. It's like a vicarious enjoyment of something that is absolutely taboo that none of us actually want to explore here.
SPEAKER_03:Right. I mean, okay, so and certain situations like you said bring it out. Yeah, and I hate to go back to a sporting event, but I can even remember, you know, as an adult, I don't I don't I don't readily turn on a race hoping to see a big wreck.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:Yep. But as a child, I can remember thinking, man, when they crash, that's the coolest thing. Here's the thing. Not realizing that it means death and destruction. Right, that there could be people genuinely getting hurt. And I I I guess, hmm.
SPEAKER_02:Can I take this somewhere?
SPEAKER_03:Yes, please!
SPEAKER_02:You know this do you know the song Vicarious by Tool? Um, I have my own TV because tragedy thrills me. The whole point of that song is I would argue about the Shadow Self completely. Vicariously tuning in. Vicariously tuning, and he talks about I turn on the news just so I can see the tragedies around the world. I love he's talking about I love seeing the genocide. I love seeing okay. That's why I don't watch the news, but well, it it is it is Who turns on the news actually for enjoyment? Who is enjoying that? I don't know anybody who watches the news and walks out of that happy. Yeah. And I think there's different reasons for that. However, we as people get a sick enjoyment out of fucked up stuff. Okay. That is veiled in different things.
SPEAKER_03:What about the tools who sit in the basement and listen to police scanners? Right? I'm gonna show up and watch the dead bodies as they pull them out. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:The shadow self, they are they are either vicariously exploring it, or they are exploring it in ways that is veiled enough or like shrouded enough in something that might be acceptable.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:You see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But that's not doing true shadow work. Exactly. We're just getting You're essentially Let's see, what is it like?
SPEAKER_02:Um Well, it's like you're getting the surface level of it. You're not delving into what it means for you. You're not ex- You're accepting that side of yourself on a surface level. You're you're under you're doing the you're under you're not understanding the why.
SPEAKER_03:Well, yeah. I'm I'm I think I'm going a slight diff- I don't know, you can tell me if it's a different direction. It's it's dabbling in shadow work without the work. You're just hanging in the shadows. That's what I'm saying. So there there is some actual work that goes into it. Um I I I don't know that there's a way to act out you know, mutilation and and dismemberment. Like you would see on uh saw a screen. A green. But that is conversations you can have, especially if you are suffering with some of those kinds of things and you you speak with another therapist who can maybe give you a slightly unbiased opinion on certain things and help you accept accept that side of yourself.
SPEAKER_02:Right. Without having to act it out. And here's the thing look at like the music we listen to, the fucking metal shit where they're ripping each other apart. And it's just one of those things, chainsaw shit, and like I'm like a chainsaw! Here's the thing. How many therapists, my included, will tell you you're feeling that way, go listen to that shit. Yeah. You don't act it out, connect into the energy for sure. There is something to that dark energy and that dark fucked up energy that is you're you're exploring the shadow side of yourself. You have to integrate because it's what makes us whole. But again, that is an acceptable form of it. Agreed. It's one of those things where the conversation is scary. But when it's veiled in entertainment, it's veiled in something that is socially acceptable. Like, oh, I can watch the news and it is interesting how because if you if you look back even as far as like what the 1950s? I wouldn't lie then, you would know.
SPEAKER_03:Shut up.
SPEAKER_02:Come on, that was good. That was good.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Wait, wait, wait. No, I'm not done yet. No, I wait, I'm not done yet. I have to be done. We can't get canceled. Oh god, my belly's on screen. Jesus Christ. I didn't notice that. I couldn't see.
SPEAKER_03:Um anyway. Was doing the um, what is it? Slow jerk. Oh, that's the uh slow jerking whitest kids on. All right. It's uncomfortable. Gotta love those. Um we're gonna go. I'm so sorry. What were you saying? Oh, 50s. Yes. Okay, so look at music and media in the 50s. It shadows shadow stuff is not there. Some of the um God, what do they call it? Um the stuff Quentin Tarantino loves so much. Um Gangster Flex. No, it was um Noir. I don't know, it was I can't remember the name. Pulp fiction. Pulp. Yeah, all that. Um the hell you're called grindcore. Like the the Grindhouse. Grindhouse, there, not Grindcore. Um but but the you would know what grindcore is, probably. I said the wrong thing. He's a grindcore guy. Yeah. Oh yeah. Um anyway. I think that is a form of uh I don't let's I don't move on. Um I'm stuck on this. We're gonna explore it. Yeah, you want to?
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_03:Bring your acceptance. Anyway, I think you know, the I think it's interesting that we as a society have progressed more towards allowing that because back then it's not like those clean. It's not like those things weren't happening, though. Oh, no. I wonder if there was still rape, there was still a lot of, you know, I mean, probably rough em up sex in the households, you know.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, admittedly the men would drink.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so like And we beat our wives. That's just how it was, and the kids.
SPEAKER_03:Because we're horrible.
SPEAKER_02:Men are evil, and we're the problem in this world, and if we were gone, there'd be no more world, but it'd be a better world until everybody died.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, sure. We'll go with that. So, yeah, feminists jump on the struggle bus.
SPEAKER_02:True feminists.
SPEAKER_03:Anyway. Um, no, but the idea that it has slowly come more and more into society in those safe ways you're saying. So I think we are kind of primed perfectly now to start because there really is a representation of it already out there, and we do need to start, as you were getting ready to say, doing the work.
SPEAKER_02:So here's what I want to add real quick is when did that start becoming? I mean, you said the trajectory, it started. I'd say the late 70s, if you want to talk about music and film. Late 70s is when you had your Texas Chainsaw, you had your uh Exorcist, you had a lot of those gangster flicks coming out, those 70s era.
SPEAKER_03:Yep you had the um Black Sabbath, you had um and and you're right, heading more into the violence end of things, but I would say even some of the psychics. Some of those psychedelic movements, yeah. Using um you know the female form. Yeah, oh yeah. That was the sixties and seventies, right? Yeah. I mean, so the sexuality piece has been. Sexuality became has started coming out first and then more violence, and we've become a more and more violent society, pretty much, it seems like.
SPEAKER_02:And I'd say that's because it all that shit's so easily acceptable or uh accessible. And so is I mean, social media is rampant. Is it all of us have ac let's be real, we have the internet, we have access to pornography and the most fucked up shit we want. We can see the fucking ISIS videos where they chop people's heads off. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's all just ready to go. Two girls in one cup. Two girls in one cup. Great video. Is it one of my favorites? No, I I'm not a fan of that. That is not a shadow self thing, I don't think. For you or someone? It might be for someone. I don't think it is. I got some fucked up shit in there. That ain't I got some fucked up shit in that cup, it ain't that video.
SPEAKER_03:Uh come on, that was good. No, but somebody made that film, so exactly. And those poor girls got paid like what, 70 bucks to do that?
SPEAKER_02:I thought it was just worth every penny. Soft serve. They got paid in soft serve. Anyway, that's the thing though, is that as I think it's more about accessibility, because here's the thing is you hear even let's say even teenagers right now. I got several in my family that are about that age. Yeah. You know, it's like they go back and watch Halloween or they watch, you know, uh any of those slashers, even Exorcist. And a lot of these kids are like, pfft, that's nothing. Yeah. It's crazy how desensitized even kids are to that stuff. Well, when the graphics have become so graphic. And you're talking video games now are so I remember Mortal Kombat in the early 90s was fucked up.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but now it's nothing.
SPEAKER_00:Have you even seen it?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, my son has uh Mortal Kombat 11. Yeah. Why haven't we played together? I don't know, we'll have to do that. Probably because he takes it back and forth to his mom's. So I'll bring my fucking system over here. Jesus fuck. I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_00:God damn it. I wish I'd known that. That's my favorite fucking game. When we're playing him like, Nick, I see that all the time. Nick, that one too.
SPEAKER_02:He's like, why do you have him come over here? I'm uncomfortable, Dan. I'm uncomfortable around him now. I know too much. I've seen too much. Um okay.
SPEAKER_03:So were you finished or still continued? Who knows? Okay, we never know. Um, and since it's not scripted, you just get what you get. Sorry. Um, so I think it's the next. I think genuinely doing the work with yourself. Um that's the hard part. Yes, but I think that is the next logical step. Like we've started to open the portals to let that stuff out into the general media. It's in media, it's in art, it's in conversation, it's and we're okay with We have become desensitized.
SPEAKER_02:I remember desensitized is always the right word, either.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Well good.
SPEAKER_02:Well, my thing, I mean, I think, you know, not being shocked is different than accepting that sort of imagery.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Because I think, you know, if you can be okay with something and not be shocked by it, you can be shocked by something and you know what I mean? Does that make sense? So I'm saying, like, um I think because things are so accessible to everybody, there is a desens being desensitized to it. However, I think that it's so accessible, it it is be considered more okay to revel in it. Does that make sense? Is that how it makes sense? Is this thought not fleshed out?
SPEAKER_03:I I think I might have been trying to work on my own thoughts.
SPEAKER_02:Then I will No, it's not important.
SPEAKER_03:Go tell No, tell me again what you said. I I I wasn't fleshing that one out very well. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Episode number five on this one.
SPEAKER_03:Unfortunately, I was I was kind of stuck on a timeline because okay, we all remember 11. Mm-hmm. Right. And I know there were some shots of jumpers. Yeah, you never saw them hit the ground. You heard them. No, you heard them. I remember the sounds, yes. But that was 2000.
SPEAKER_02:I'm sorry, I didn't laugh at the situation. I'm laughing how you're really trying to tiptoe around it. And you're all like, and I'm over here just like, yeah, the bodies hit the ground. Yes.
SPEAKER_04:Let the bodies hit the let the bodies from the trade centers hit the sorry.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, I'm Saturday Night Live made fun immediately, so they did. And and I I applaud them for it. I mean, the only way to get back up is to not let it keep you dead. To not knock down any more towers. Yeah, well, there's that too. Go ahead, I'm sorry. Um, no, but I think I think that was a precursor to this other event. I just want to I would be curious on the the chronology of it. But there was also, I don't know if you remember, I I think it was Ohio. It was a guy that it was a pizza delivery guy. And he showed up at a house and they put a collar on him that had a bomb. I do remember this, absolutely. And I remember seeing that was on TV. Yeah. And it literally blew up, and you saw his body fall back.
SPEAKER_02:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you see it. That was the first time I remember an up close. That person just died. I just witnessed a person die.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and they showed it on camera, like on TV. Yeah. Now, what I wonder is, I wonder if the news hasn't been censored more.
SPEAKER_03:But I know that we have that didn't when when I was a kid, you didn't see that kind of stuff.
SPEAKER_02:You they would talk about I think there was a period where they showed that shit. I don't know that they do that anymore. I can't remember the last time. There was um I don't know. There was a suicide that got captured on TV. Oh, really? Yeah. Um there's two that I know of because you know I'm just all versed in the suicide realm. I love it. Um sorry. Um the guy I can remember is Bud Dwyer. Did you ever hear about that one? Yeah, shot himself in the middle of a press conference.
SPEAKER_03:He was um Oh, there's the in Pittsburgh or somewhere in Philadelphia or uh Pennsylvania, somewhere. Yeah, you know, I remember that.
SPEAKER_02:Shot himself right on camera. And it's you they showed the it aired well, it was a live thing. It was a live thing, yeah. And now that you can you can find the footage still, because I hate to say it. I I've looked it up a few, not recently. Everything's on the internet though. Anything that airs on a media is out there forever. You can always find it. Remember that, girls. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. Don't put your stuff out there, it's always there. It's yeah, somebody can find it. But okay, so I what the point I was getting to or trying to. Well, I wanted to talk about Bud Dwyer shooting himself. Okay. Have at it, buddy. No, I'm done.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. I just want to state it again. Bud Dwyer. Budwar. Suicide. Boudoir. Boudoir.
SPEAKER_03:His boudoir. Those are some nasty boudoir photos. Yeah. Anyway, so as I was saying, um, I think that we have kind of as a species pushed ourselves to the edge of having to deal with those sides of ourself. We put it in media, we put it in art, we put it in, you know, advertisement, we it's on the news, it's in our books, audiobooks, whatever. I mean, like, it's life has become more and more graphic. It's in video games. There you go, there's graphics. Yeah. Um But I think we've pushed ourselves to the edge of that cliff. And at this point, I think we really have to start doing the work to really understand those parts of ourselves and what what it is inside each one of us that is excited or abhorred by what we see and that acceptance, but then also then you do have to work through like what does that mean? Where did it come from? Like, yeah, if if there was trauma in your past, oh yeah, I mean, I without naming names, um I have been divorced for many years, so I've had relationships, but a couple a couple. Um there are women who have been sexually abused who struggle with in the moment of that abuse having felt pleasure.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, no, and so then it becomes recreation in a safe, yeah. Right, and that's and that's the kind of thing I'm I'm referencing is that sometimes there are pieces of yourself that you are very uncomfortable, but if you can figure out where the link is, what what's inspiring it, what is bringing it about, what makes it what it is for you, you can be not only understanding of it, but have an understanding of why that is represented within yourself. And it's my I feel like it's gonna be much easier to accept. I can't say that I've sat down and done true shadow work. I have always yourself, you mean? Yeah, I'm my parents raised me in a way that it wasn't like, oh, everything you do is great, Tony, but they did some of the worst things about me. They knew, and they were able to say, you know, while that's maybe not your shining trait, it is okay that it exists inside of you. And and I can remember my parents even saying, you know, no matter what you do, we're always gonna love you. We may not, you know, agree with everything you do, but you know, if if you you kill somebody or whatever, I'm still gonna come to jail and I'm gonna tell you that I love you.
SPEAKER_02:I'm gonna watch you get the lethal injection.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, sure, all that. But no, the idea Your humor's not very dark right now. No, I'm sorry. It's a kumbaya moment. We don't have many.
SPEAKER_02:For you, maybe.
SPEAKER_03:He's in kumbaya, I'm like just saying that I know there are people out there that really truly struggle with certain sides of themselves. And exploring that and coming to grips with bringing it into and integrating it into self, even if it's not something you tell everyone. There is power in being able to share it with a partner, or even in just acknowledging it inside yourself. That's where it starts. That that is where it starts. Exactly. But then the idea of okay, I'm with this person that can help you explore it safely. Right. Are you for them? All of that, yes. Perfect. Way to go.
SPEAKER_02:And the one thing, you know, I want to share this too is that we have always, as a species, been this fucked up.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, we have. The Mayans, the uh Romans, sacrifices, Greek, Greek, you know, the Greeks. I mean, uh all the way back to what we do to Jesus. Yeah. I mean, we have always been ruined disability MMs. Is that gonna be just the thing now? Tony, tell the hooker joke or whatever. Um prostitute joke. Go ahead. You know that's well. Let's lose our Christian viewers this far into the oh, I thought, oh, I got more. You have more jokes? Yeah. Okay. What are we doing then? This is the Christian You said Hooker.
unknown:Oh.
SPEAKER_03:Do you know you know how you can tell when a hooker's full? Her nose is runny or something like that, yeah. Yeah, you suck.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. That's a pretty well-known one.
SPEAKER_03:Killed it. All right, cut. What I was gonna say. Cut, nope, we're starting. Starting this one over?
SPEAKER_02:I fucking hope not. What I was gonna say is that just accepting in human nature all the way back that we are absolutely Cain and Abel. If you're in why am I getting religious? Fuck myself.
SPEAKER_03:That seems a little violent. I'm serious. Why don't I go there?
SPEAKER_04:Always just getting dildo my own eyes.
SPEAKER_02:Dildo my own aisle. Um but that's the thing, is just even back before all this was so accessible. Yeah, and yeah, or represented in what we call a civilized music and all the art forms, it's civilized or whatever. Yeah. Um, it's always been there. So now we are aware of it enough and it's in front of us enough to we're advanced enough in all these ways now to be able to explore it.
SPEAKER_03:What I was just thinking about it. Because, okay, so in the Mayans, you're talking about sacrifice, human sacrifice, right? Well, I mean that's bare yeah, bare bones of it, yeah. Okay. And who carried that out? The elite. Okay. Go to the Coliseum. The the yeah. The elite. You go to um what's his name's island? Epstein? Well then you got Diddy. The elite. Oh yeah. There you go. Diddy. Diddy do it, did he didn't.
SPEAKER_02:Where are you getting at with this then?
SPEAKER_03:I'm just saying that the elite is what influences that shoves it on us. Not necessarily. I'm saying the elite have never had to control themselves. It's really been the masses who have had to that have had that template put on them to say, okay, you can't exhibit these things. Only we can.
SPEAKER_02:That's a good point. And I mean, you go back to like the the Romans during the time of the of the Ecoliseum. Uh I mean, they craved it.
SPEAKER_03:The games were craved, but and the people could sit there and watch it. Right. But they didn't have any say in it.
SPEAKER_02:No, no, I mean that was the thing.
SPEAKER_03:The the games were rewards for the people. I mean, I guess the shadows of the power. We haven't bring up power yet. Just power over other human beings. Oh, that's probably the might be the one of the most prevalent.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. We all crave at some point, whether power sexually, dominance, you want to go there, or power to control somebody, even control your child, control things in your life, circumstances in your life. And that comes back to acceptance, accepting that you only have so much influence unless you take too much control. That's when, again, the shadow self exploring that physically or you know, forcing that on it, that's when it becomes dangerous.
SPEAKER_03:Right. And that's while I guess you could say they did integrate it into themselves. I don't know it was in a healthy manner. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. But you're right. I mean, I think I don't know if that's strictly a I mean, that's that's kind of a male thing a bit more, I think, to create that. Mm-hmm. I never I just thought about it. I was saying like presidents and like throwing Trump in there because you know he's you know who he is, and Diddy and like all these guys, and I think they probably just have being male, probably have just access or like just in society or are uh enabled to be able to have the power by default to do those things. Um but you know, certain other um have ways of doing it on a more interpersonal level at times.
SPEAKER_03:Well, and also and that's anybody, by the way. Men are gonna be more direct in their violence and power. Women will be more indirect, but there is still an exertion of violence and power. Yeah, sure. Yep. So I think it represents in both gender, for sure. There's different ways. Excuse me, all genders. Yeah. We are accepting of all. We sure are. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Except the gays, they're burning in hell. We all know it.
SPEAKER_03:Well, you know.
SPEAKER_02:We all know I don't care if they repent or not. Do you under Oh god, here we go. Nope. We're not going down that.
SPEAKER_03:What what little rabbit hole did you I'll open it up a little bit? A gay rabbit hole? Glory hole. You're opening.
SPEAKER_02:The gay glory hole.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, you had to see the visual on that one, folks. Alright. Yep, there it is. Um Darkstar.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but that's the thing is like, um, damn it. Why did I open that? That was dumb. Now I'm not gonna be able to get off of it. Then you might as well. Alright, here we go. Religious section. Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_03:Um, religion and the dark self.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I mean, you could argue that there's parts of religion that enables it to explore the the dark things within ourselves in the name of religion. Is it justification for exploring the dark side? That's what I'm saying, is yeah. And that you know what, let's not even label that just religion. It's in any cause that is that is um uh manipulated. Those fucking Girl Scouts. Oh my god. Quit selling me the damn Samoas. I mean I can't afford them to begin with.
SPEAKER_03:Well, don't be sneaking lead into your thin mints either. Is that a thing? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I don't care. They're delicious.
SPEAKER_03:They are delicious. Like lead poisoning is a thing. Like to die for.
SPEAKER_02:But um shall no, that's not the drum fill we do. Oh no.
SPEAKER_05:It's been that was pretty cool. I like that.
SPEAKER_02:You gotta watch that. Yep, so um any YouTube. Talk about a fucking nerd moment. Right. Um Two Neil Purts. Pierce. R.I.P. Let's have a moment of silence. Okay. That was um Huh? That was enough. But it needs the moment of silence needs to be at 7-8. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Go. Okay, okay. So anyway, um I really lost track. That solo got me going. I'm like, wow.
SPEAKER_00:That was mine to not prevent.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Don't put me down as arrogant.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. So you were talking about the five. My resigned quiet defense. Right out of the days. Okay. Catch the spit. No.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, so where were you going with your rant? I would say.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, the religious thing? Um, honestly, it was more along the list. It's okay. Um, it was like how I know people who say gays by default don't get into heaven. Just by default being gay.
SPEAKER_03:That's kind of fucked up.
SPEAKER_02:However, those same people made the Hitler comment.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, right. Yeah, there's there might be some messed up beliefs in some of that, just because I don't care.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, Man-May Construct deciding how to interpret things that we have no authority to interpret. But we're done with that. Because I already covered that on the rant episode of Christianity.
SPEAKER_03:I I don't know, man. I think, yeah. We might have to do a part eight, nine, ten, eleven. For all the things that religion will let us get away with in the name of hatred. Or the name of a deity. I I mean, yeah. Using that name to hate on someone else, or enact violence on someone else, or exert power over I mean, all the all the dark sins. Yeah. All seven of them.
SPEAKER_01:Gluttony. Gluttony. Wrath.
SPEAKER_00:What's in the back? What's in the back?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Great movie. That's Olgan Freeman. Kevin Spacey.
unknown:I love Kevin's.
SPEAKER_03:Kevin. Kevin's pretty awesome. I love Kevin. I think he's going to heaven. Probably. He should. I mean, I mean, I don't care how young that boy was.
SPEAKER_02:I really don't. He was just exploring his shows. Can you blame him? No. Good for Kevin. So good.
SPEAKER_00:Kevin's my favorite. Kevin. I would love to have Kevin suck my hair. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. See, I'm getting it down. I've been working on it. Yeah, good, good, man. See, we're working on impressions for the skits y'all are going to see at some point. I don't know if I have anything else to add. We're getting to the rambly stage of our podcast. Well, but I yeah. Unless you got something to legit add. I'm I'm out of uh shitting on shadows.
SPEAKER_03:I think it's shitting on shadows. Shitting in the shadows. Oh nice. Shitting in the shadows. Yeah. Just accept yourself while you in our mouths. But no, I I think we've really truly kind of covered I don't really think there's anything else. The full gamut with A little extra there at the end for good measure.
SPEAKER_02:For food for thought. Yeah. Um, we're just gonna insert the uh Christian segment rant. Every this is the Christian.
SPEAKER_03:God, I hope not.
SPEAKER_02:I just I Christ Almighty.
SPEAKER_00:Christina Koreac.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, so we're gonna wrap it up then? I don't have anything else to add to this one. Alright. Until we revisit again. We do need to get guff on here. Yeah, we do. Because I think honestly, one thing we could do is like if we have different guests, we can explore the same concepts with guests, kind of to normalize the conversation around it with different people.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. And he'll be our guinea pigs. If you wind up on the struggle bus and stand out in a conversation, by all means, come on the show. We'd love to. That is so true. Um we'd love to start getting some more of our just viewers or listeners, I should say. Mostly listeners. Right, mostly listeners, yeah, arguably. You fuckers show up this on YouTube. It's so much better. Yeah, well, you know, some of the physical is You think that makes them uncomfortable? Perhaps. I mean, the slow jerk definitely is gonna make some people uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_04:Excuse me! May I ask you a question?
SPEAKER_03:Do you have no but knock it?
SPEAKER_04:Oh that's shit.
SPEAKER_03:I forgot about that part of it. Okay. Anyway, so how do we like to wrap them up?
SPEAKER_02:We'll wrap it up nicely. So, guys, moral of the story. I want to say something really fucked up, but I probably shouldn't.
SPEAKER_03:That would be the shadow self coming to the forefront.
SPEAKER_02:Alright, fine. If you want to fuck children, no. Don't do it. You shouldn't do that. That actually is the moral of the story. That is the moral.
SPEAKER_03:Let's back away from that one.
SPEAKER_02:No, I'm serious. That's that's the moral.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Don't do it. If you want to be with children, don't do it. Because it's not good.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. I'm actually serious. Certainly. That was a horrible way of illustrating it. However.
SPEAKER_03:But no, you're right. If that is something that is inside you, that is probably good that you know that because it would suck to have that sneak up on a small child. It would be great if you were aware of it, understood that about yourself.
SPEAKER_02:That is why actually I did that very messed up one.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Because it's illustrating that obviously there's a lot of people who do have that and they do explore it. Um it's not a good thing. That's not shadow work. That is not shadow work, that is the opposite.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So that is giving you a lot of people. The reason I did that little shocking thing is to get you on your toes and think about that people have that, but it's that's what you have to process through. Yeah. And there is something to accepting, see, this is where it gets controversial. It's accepting shit like that. You may have those fantasies or even desires, whatever you want to call it, or those thoughts, even on that basic level.
SPEAKER_03:And I would argue that that part isn't the controversial part. I mean, I think that if you indeed can do the self-assessment, find that within yourself, even offer yourself grace, knowing that you are not going to ever act out something that would hurt another person. You can still integrate that into yourself. Because the reason that you would do that is to have an awareness that it is something you are susceptible to.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, true.
SPEAKER_03:Not putting yourself on the PTO board, not signing up for the field trip.
SPEAKER_02:Am I No, you're absolutely right. That's exactly what I'm getting at. Yeah. That's why I threw that particular one out there.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. And I know that's you know I'm gonna have to roll the tape back to see if I actually need to go to the doctor for the whiplash where I went. What?
SPEAKER_02:The whole point is that there are many fucked up desires, thoughts, fantasies that we all have.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And the fact is you can't help that you have them being human, but exploring maybe why you have that, and of course, on on the most largest level, understanding that you never should explore that. Exploring it should never hurt anyone. That's a good way to put it. That's a great way to put it. Because if you can safely explore something with consent and you're not hurting anybody and not causing discomfort or anything with someone else, especially without consent, I mean, I don't I haven't exactly thought like what would not fall into that. But I can't think of anything that would, as long as you're not hurting anybody, making anybody uncomfortable, or um what was the other part of that? There's another part. Not gonna be it. Um another key factor in that one. Um, but anyway, I I'm sorry to shock with that particular advance example, but I just wanted to say that those are some fucked up thoughts that people have. And you gotta accept that that may be something that comes to mind. Yeah and it all comes down to acceptance of being a person and all sides of that.
SPEAKER_03:Acceptance and awareness of who you are. I mean, you That's essentially what all this comes down to. Yeah, you really cannot say, and yeah, I mean, I think that's kind of part of what brought that about, the whole concept of doing looking at the shadow self, is that to be fully self-aware, exactly. That is it, you have to be aware of all parts. Of all sides. It doesn't mean that you put them out there. Nope. But it does mean that you know that they are in there. Yep. And if they are in there, there is the possibility that they could interact with something else out here in the world. That's exactly right. So you have to be aware. That is the big the big thing about doing shadow work is finding that awareness so you have a truer understanding of who you are as a person.
SPEAKER_02:Exactly. And that's why stuff like that shouldn't be thrown out there for people. What's the first thing y'all thought when I said that?
SPEAKER_03:Nailed it!
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Did I, did I, did I, am I talking in circles now? Go ahead. I thought like I threw that one out there, and that's a pretty shocking one. But the whole point is that should that be thrown out there by somebody who legitimately is thinking that or whatever? No, no. Are my voices saying shit like that to me all the time? Sure. That was tame for what they say, honestly, if I can be can. Um, but the fact is we should interview your voices. They're not conversational, I always tell you that. Fuckers. Alright. I wish they would. That was Guff's joke, is that what if I play Jackbox games? They could help me win. But they're not specific to what I'm playing all the time.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:See, he's a genius. Okay. Anyway, I hope that last example doesn't isn't too off-putting, but it's simply kind of to illustrate a very important point to this whole thing. You have to accept yourself in all aspects in order to become a better person. A more um self-ac is it self-actualized? Is that the self-actualized human being?
SPEAKER_03:Um use it to big words. Next week on Buttham Hooey, Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Tune in.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, how are you coming on that novel? Yes. You're so knowledgeable. Anyway, we'll end it there. So, anyway, food for thought on all of that. So this was not. We waited to do this episode for a while because it's a pretty controversial one.
SPEAKER_00:And especially that last two minutes was probably tell me more about the last thing you know. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_02:But anyway, really something to think about, and it's not an easy thing to work on in yourself. That's one of those things that in theory it's like even uncomfortable to think about, you know, acknowledging within yourself. So that's butt stuff. We're all pee that that damn it. So you said that, and then I'm going to take it to the next depth. And I'm like, fuck, we just got over fucking children. And now butt stuff. No. But seriously, like it is okay. It is okay that though that's in there. Let's just say it. It's okay that that's in there. It has to be. It has to be. And you have to be aware. And you have to be aware. Okay. So I think that wraps it up. Um, this has been the greatest, worst episode of bottom fingers. Bottom hooy. I don't know that one that clever. Bottom fingers? I don't know. That wasn't that clever.
SPEAKER_03:Finger your bottom. I don't know. No. No, no. We don't. I don't want to be associated with fingering bottoms. Well, now you are. Yay.
SPEAKER_02:Alright. Anyway, thanks for watching. Bottom hooie, aka beat the mental health out of it.
unknown:This is.
SPEAKER_02:I've never been able to speak in the shit.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, the ADHD is taking over. I am indie pocket.
SPEAKER_02:This is the defectives get so effective.
SPEAKER_03:And we like to end with.
SPEAKER_02:You started this time.
SPEAKER_03:Oh.
SPEAKER_02:We're gonna switch roles. You'll be the dom and I'll be the sub.
SPEAKER_03:Don't look to the bottle, the knife, or the gun.
SPEAKER_02:Look for the soul you'll become.
SPEAKER_04:And that's you careful! Oh my god. And that's a rap. That's a rap in my ass.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god, that's my favorite episode.
SPEAKER_04:Captain's love. Hello. Oh my god. There's Captain's Someone on the wing. Captain's love. Some thing. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Bye.
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